For a long time, we all “knew” that MERGE did not support a RETURNING clause. You can ask ChatGPT, Gemini, or Google, and the answer would still be the same: Nope, no luck! LLMs respond with confidence, and Google’s top results show various workarounds for the problem. I swear I saw the lifting of this restriction in the New Features Guide back when the version was still called 23c :-). Since I’m currently preparing a conference talk where this is relevant, I naturally wanted to check whether my memory was just playing tricks on me — or if it’s actually true.